This weekend has left a good number of my friends upset, dramatic, pensive, overly-contemplative, gossipy, as well as a number of attributes that are typically found in your typical 17-year-old girl. Am I upset? Well, no, considering that I'm an all-around cooly sedate type of individual -- most of which can be credited to living with my psychotic family over the summer. Least to say, I have been desensitized from human suffering and am finding myself one relatively happy individual. Happy as a clam, you can say.
Angry Hulk.
Quite frankly, emersing myself in the thick, chunky meat-stew of drama is the last thing I want to do in my life, especially since I want to start my senior year of college stress-free. And considering how college has been thus far, I want to start it right. So to further answer the previous question, I am not upset but I am exhausted. In all honesty, I've grown quite tired of seeing people beat the shit out of themselves in the name of romance or people simply getting upset at others. I've been there, people: considering my failures as a romantic person and living with my family, I've been a spokesmodel for neuroticism and a witness to charged animosity. Hence -- and excuse the lame-ass metaphor -- my credit card of negative emotions has been maxed out. I have therefore concluded that I will either live my life as a carefree Bohemian or merely distance myself from such ornery behavior. In either case, I won't have to bathe as much as I do.
Since I typically opt to waste my time on the internet, I've been reading quite a few livejournals and away messages. Suffice to say, most of the ones I've read are way too self-deprecating and depressing as fuck. Just for clarification, and this doesn't necessarily apply to anyone specific (because frankly they're all self-loathing):
No, I do not hate you. The only person I'd ever hate would be myself, but even now I know there are pharmaceutical advances to fix that. I'm a nice person. I'm a forgiving person. And I don't hold gruges. It takes a lot to get to my bad, merciless side, so unless you steal all my money in my bank account and rape my mother, don't worry about it.
Fuck relationships. Fuck break-ups. Fuck romance. Most people think that college is the ideal (sometime only) place to find love and a rich spouse. This ideology often distracts them from what we're all here for... such as, oh, a college degree. Well, guess what people: the sun rises everyday, things deteriorate and die, blah blah blah... circle of life and shit. The same off-beat analogy applies to love. Everybody has their entire life to look for that special someone, so be patient; I know I am. Granted, 60% of married couples found their spouse in college, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Your hand can satisfy you physically and Adult Swim is all you needs to indulge your emotional needs. So there.
I can't have any additional authors post on the site, and not because I don't want to (although in certain cases I really don't to). I no longer use blogger for posts, namely since they've established a new system that's not compatible with my webhost. Sorry Lindsey and Allan.
Things will get better. And if they don't, you have the mellow techno-beats of The Postal Service to lighten your dreary/angry outlook on life.
All in all,
EVERYONE CHILL THE FUCK OUT, CHEER THE FUCK UP, GET OVER YOURSELVES, OTHERWISE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE. SERIOUSLY, I WANT TO START THIS YEAR TO A GOOD NOTE AND REALLY END IT WITH ONE. I'm done venting, are you?
XOXO,
Phil.
(PS, make sure not blow up on blonde indie-kids or throw empty paper-towel rolls at Filipinos. Much love.)
pleasantly brought
to you by phillip retuta Tuesday, September 14, 2004 @
12:44 AM
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