There really is no appropriate introduction. Just take this for what it is. I'll try not to make it too depressing.
Today has been a terrible day at best.
But sometimes terrible days have a way of changing your perspective on life in a good way.
This morning, I attended a funeral, which I'm sure we have all done. Funerals are sad events, there's nothing monumental to be said about that. Sad things happen, and death happens to be one of them.
But for me, this really wasn't an ordinary funeral, if there is such a thing. Now that I think about it, it really wasn't for anyone there. When someone young dies, it always seems harder to swallow. Even more tragic is when someone so young sees so much darkness and hopelessness in the world that they take their own life.
At our age, you never really think that you will have to watch one of your friends be buried. We always hear terrible stories about the young dying. Try watching the evening news for a week without watching a story about how this young man was shot, or how this young woman died in a car crash. I guess death happens quite often, too often.
When I first heard the news, I just sat in silence. There were no words to say. Nothing I could say could come close to comforting my tearful friend on the other end of the phone. At this point, all I felt was complete helplessness and intense shock.
The funeral itself seemed to go by fast, I think I was too busy trying to help keep the family and friends smiling and staying positive. After it was all over and I came home, all the emotions came pouring out. Sadness, anger, disbelief, outrage, and finally, a quiet acceptance. Another life had come and gone, and at least I have the privilege of saying I was a friend to this life.
I didn't post this for anyone's pity. This is not about pity or remorse, but about realizing that we are only here for a short time, some shorter than others. We all have those we love and cherish, our closest friends. We hear it all the time, "don't take your friends for granted", but we do anyway, it's just the way we are, we were brought up in our own selfishness. I guess I did the same, and I don't really expect any of you to change because I posted a sad story. But I can't help but think if maybe I wasn't so concerned with my own life, with my own selfish wants, that maybe I could've concentrated on being a better friend and possibly changing this terrible day.
So I guess I just want to challenge you all to go make a phone call, or i.m. a friend you know who is down, having a tough time with life. They don't have to be your best friend, maybe you haven't talked to them in awhile. But you don't have to say much. Just encourage them and let them know you care.
I know this is corny, but I don't really care. I lost a friend and watched as my other friends suffered this loss. If corniness can help prevent that for someone else, then so be it.
On a side note, for those of you worried about me, I will be fine, it's just a rough day. Life goes on and there will be more days to celebrate and smile in the future.
Peace
pleasantly brought
to you by Anonymous Thursday, January 13, 2005 @
11:03 PM
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