Goals! comments: 0 comments Because I am a horrible person and forgot a friend's birthday, I began looking through my old AIM logs, HTML files, and Word documents because I am certain I recorded it somewhere. In the process, I found this old Word Document from my Purdue years containing the numerous goals I wanted to accomplish. Since this is nearly 2 years old and have undoubtedly achieved some of these tasks, I'll put an "X" to the ones that have been completed... GOALS FOR THE 2003 SPRING SEMESTER (X)Get admitted into UIUC or UIC, and kick the admissions board's heads in. Ideally achieve straight A's this semester, or at least nothing lower than a C. (X)Get Mike drunk and take incriminating photos. Never let Cyrus reveal any more than 35% of clothing within these walls, otherwise I'll gouge my eyes with rusty nails. (X)Achieve the rank of Ninjitsu-Fun Master. (X)Use the frying pan and available food before realizing that it was a waste of money. Buy a Gamecube and the RE series. (X)Become a Frat Boy by purchasing beanie from AF, Swiss Cross necklace from AE. (Never joined one, but I do have the -- how you say...? -- the look) (X)Collect money from people who owe me, or break their legs/chop off fingers (P and Shikany) Finish off the "stuff" in the freezer. (I'm not too sure what the "stuff" in the freezer was...) See Copeland drunk (Talked to him drunk, though) Get Copeland and Colter drunk together, and watch them have gay sex Get Copeland and Duder drunk, analyze their similarities. (X)Routinely insult Prakash/Ashish with an ethnic stereotype. (X)Infiltrate Duder's Harem. Save $300 to $500 in bank account. (X)Become a know-it-all, even more so. (X)Watch Buffy to see if she and the Slayerettes beat the First. (X)Watch ALIAS, because female spies are haaaaaaaaaaaaawt.... (X)Finish Xenogears/Xenosaga, and become a total nerd. Piss on Mike's head (preferably while he is in an unconscious, drunken state). Lose some fucking weight, you fat cow! (Hahaha, I'm actually fatter now) Coerce the Jens into mud wrestling, and then allow a drunken Mike to join in. See Copeland wasted Maintain alcohol-abstinency till I go to UIUC (Yeah, that never worked out...) (X)Start smoking and become cool. (I don't smoke regularly, but at least I know how to hold a cigarette properly and ash it) Find all missing personal items (novels, keychain) before semester ends. Express free love, then die of some vicious venereal disease. (X)Get my license back by going to court... and holding the court hostage while gunning down numerous police officers. Conquer the world with giant mechanical beatles, yes, beatles. (X)Buy new headphones. Finish those Tarot cards before Suz bites my shins. Defeat Jen in a karate match, then steal her heart in infamous fatality move. (X)Did I mention, GET MIKE DRUNK, AGAIN? Make everyone stop saying "clicker" or "fucking clicker," before I lose it and sever their genitalia. (I think Zach still calls it that, but I guess I've grown accustomed to it...) Get Mark drunk, then make him (as my loyal minion of booze) get Mike drunk. Yeah... Drop kick someone, just because. Make a reality television show with the Plainfield kids, and tape the drunken-nympho fun. Get Jeff or Allan over here by hiring bums to kidnap them from UIUC. Then steal their faces. (X)Find an apartment in UIUC (near the bars AND frats!) (What the hell was I thinking?) Find a chemical formula to STOP EVERYONE FROM BEING FUCKING JERKS. (X)Prove the existence of Caribou (or Dogibou) in the Philippines, or pay everyone off to believe so. Never let my parents see this list, or risk immediate death. (X)Make and find yourself. Sappy, yeah, but whatever. pleasantly brought to you by phillip retuta Monday, April 11, 2005 @ 6:52 PM everything here is property of phil. therefore, do not take and/or alter anything here without written consent... he has a friend that's a lawyer and another who's VERY intimidating! if you want to use or request art, please e-mail him! all non-original pictures, names, and characters are property of their respective companies and people! this bitch is powered by blogger.