News-lyweds No More! comments: 0 comments Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle's house was uneventful, but at least the food was damned good. Hell, my uncle even served Green Apple Smirnoff Ice, which is perhaps the girliest beverage next to Pucker or Tab. After two plates of turkey, stuffing, and sweet mashed potatoes, my cousins and I played some video games, and I ended up beating Kingdom Hearts -- the coolest video game that features Disney characters. Since there's really nothing to do at my aunt's house except watch TV or listen to my family sing dreadful karaoke, I took a nap until it was time to leave. In retrospect, I should have entertained my younger cousins some more, or at least held a conversation with them instead of sleeping. Oh well... They'll learn the "birds and the bees" someday, somehow... Now, here's some news: 100-Pound Woman Wins Turkey-Eating Contest (from the Associated Press) Speaking of turkey, who knew such a small thing can consume so much food? She must have had the most interesting bowel movements afterwards. Brits Give New Drink Laws Cautious Cheers (from the Associated Press) Now, more than ever, I want to go to England; in their pubs and bars, they've abolished last calls and some are even open 24 hours. Simpson, Lachey Officially Separate (from the Associated Press) The sadistic part of me is taking great joy in their impending divorce. It just goes to show that love is an awful, awful thing, and I can thank God (hey, another thing to be thankful!) that MTV will no longer produce new episodes of their god-awful show. The article also compares the two as watered-down versions of Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys, detailing Simpson's complete idiocy and Lachey's lackluster career. Ironically, Simpson just recently released Jessica Simpson I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding, which, for some odd reason, is selling over 100 dollars. Alternate title: Jessica Simpson I Do Not Believe in Using Commas to Separate Nonessential Words, Phrases, and Clauses: Getting Alimony After Irreconcilable Differences. pleasantly brought to you by phillip retuta Friday, November 25, 2005 @ 1:14 AM everything here is property of phil. therefore, do not take and/or alter anything here without written consent... he has a friend that's a lawyer and another who's VERY intimidating! if you want to use or request art, please e-mail him! all non-original pictures, names, and characters are property of their respective companies and people! this bitch is powered by blogger.